About Me

I was born in New York in 1895 with severe dyslexia, but grew up in a suburb of Boston, where I was cured by gypsies. After graduating from Harvard College in 2008, I moved to New York City and promptly crashed the stock market. Either due to the recession or my coverall interviewing outfit, my first job offer was to be a janitor. My second job offer was to be a waiter, but I didn’t know you weren’t supposed to bus tables one dish at a time, so I was fired. My third job offer was to write a play, in Microsoft Excel spreadsheet format, for an eccentric real estate developer (true story). That’s when I decided to move to Los Angeles, where I wrote for television shows on MTV, The Discovery Channel, Animal Planet, and Spike TV. In September 2011, I moved back to the east coast with my wife, Wife, and cat, Cat, where I have worked as a marketing copywriter for Samuel Adams, Carnival Cruise Lines, Progressive, Lysol, and New Balance. Nine months ago I quit my day job to focus on growing my company, Points North Interactive, Inc., with my business partner Harry Brown, a tenacious marketing strategist, policy analyst, and journalist with over 15 years of experience working with members of the United States Congress. I run Nailsbails in my spare time, drawing and writing about my life for over 13,000 readers.

Contact Me

Getting reader emails is my favorite and I do my very best to respond to every one of them. Please email me at nailsbails@gmail.com anytime, and check out the FAQs below.

Praise for Nailsbails

Hahahaha! This is so brilliant. Thank you.  – Reheated Coffee

Just found your blog. Love it! – thetattootourist

You’ve got a great comedy writing style. I’m enjoying reading! – Charlie Castor

I love your blog in a way I really can’t describe. – Maria Vasquez

Super funny… ROFL :-) Made my day. – Dhruv

You, sir, have won the internet for today. Still chuckling. – Sharat Sachin

Thank you for killing some of my spare time with these short amusing articles. – thebrosofgoodspeak

I laughed so hard I started wheezing. I need a paramedic!! This was wonderful and just what my Monday called for. Thank you!Chris

I had a weird day and this is perfect, put a huge smile on my face.Maria M

Really made my day, dude. – mroberts1770

It’s so cool that you can draw AND write. I love this. – Lizi

Thank you for putting a smile on my face. Love your blog! – Pleun

I just discovered your blog and laughed at least once for each post. The number of laughs per post is my personal funny barometer. – patsyporco

Your blog is awesome! – Dr. Sphinx

Please never cease to write.  juliamarisa9

Love the drawing. – Elyse

I dare anyone to read your blog and then leave without subscribing. They just won’t be able to. – Alicej_VA

Thanks for the giggles! – piecesofmyrandomness

Funny ass dude. – Anonymous

How can you be funny every day? Hilarious. – Jo Eberhardt

Go write a book and make millions. I’ll buy one. – jeljones

Haha, still funny as hell. – GSonk Jr.

This is spastic and hilarious. Love it. – thundrous

You make me laugh. – Burns the Fire

FAQ

How did you build your readership?

No idea.

Do you have any advice for writers who are just starting out?

Write often. Much like baking or illegal cloning, the more you write, the closer you will get to forming a unique style that cannot be duplicated.

How did you become a television writer? Do you have any tips about breaking into the entertainment industry?

I fell in love with humor writing during my time as an editor for the Harvard Lampoon, which has sent a lot of alums into the film and television industry. I basically networked my way into a production job, and was able to string together a series of writing gigs from there. Like any industry, it’s all about networking, so I would start by sending an Edible Arrangement to everyone you know on LinkedIn.

I wrote a pilot/screenplay/fortune cookie fortune. Will you read it and give me feedback?

Yes. I’m always happy to help out other writers.

Why was my comment removed?

You either swore, or are a spam robot.

What is swore?
Not now, spam robot. I don’t have time to explain human word meanings.

What is swore?
Go away!

What is swore?
Sigh. It is the past tense of a verb meaning ‘to curse.’ OK?

What is verb?
ENOUGH.

Why are you so angry?
I’m a little hungry I think.

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