The Icing on the Einstein

"Just say no to drugs."

“Just say no to drugs.”

I’m hooked. But I’m not talking about my chocolate icing addiction. Besides, that only started because of Wife’s birthday. It’s not like I just randomly developed an insatiable craving for chocolate cake icing – I got it from baking her birthday cake. That’s right: I got high on my own supply. I don’t think I’ve ever done so much tasting of ingredients in my entire life. Let’s just say that I skimmed so much chocolate during prep, that if this cake were a turkey it would have come out of the oven looking like a cornish game hen. Do I regret eating so much chocolate? Yes. Well, sort of. No. No I do not. Anyway, what I’m actually referring to is the new television show I have discovered, which I’ve been binge-watching like a pyromaniac in a gas fireplace store. To be fair, it’s not a television show, per se, but it is wildly popular on YouTube with tens of millions of views. The series in question masterfully weaves together recurring themes, a stirring musical score, and complex characters, resulting in a triumphant opus of social commentary the world hasn’t seen since the days of Swift or, perhaps, even Chaucer. The real telltale of the show’s brilliance is that I’m not even in the target audience. In fact, it’s intended demographic is primarily babies. What is this work of genius called, you ask? Baby Einstein. I think my favorite episode is World Animals, but Discovering Shapes is a close second. There’s something transcendent about hand-puppets performing in front of a green screen while royalty-free MIDI recordings of famous classical music play in the background. There’s only one thing that could make this viewing experience better: chocolate icing. Be right back.

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