Arts and Crafts and Lawnmowers

"Don't look at it until it's finished!"

“Don’t look at it until it’s finished!”

I want to create something. No, let me rephrase: I HAVE to create something. And by create, I mean use my hands, and my brain, and the smaller brain that lives in my stomach and orders me to eat an entire bag of salted caramel pretzel bites, to make something no one has ever seen before materialize out of thin air. See, there’s nothing quite like the feeling one gets when one brings a completely original work of art into the world, whether it be a symphony, a painting, or an MTD 20 inch 125 cc Gas Walk-Behind Lawn Mower. That’s right: lawnmowers are art. Sure, plenty of folks have seen a lawnmower before, but they haven’t seen this one – the one I just assembled in my basement with a very confusing owner’s manual, a little elbow grease, and a quick visit to the emergency room to get the grease seeping out of my elbow checked out. Do I think I’m going to sell this lawnmower at a fancy mid-town auction house for millions of dollars? No. Maybe. I don’t know, why? Are lawnmowers hot right now? Cause my antiques lady told me NO ONE is buying lawnmowers right now. Do I think it is a stirring tribute to the enduring spirit of man? Yes. Do I want to eat another bag of salted caramel pretzel bites? [looks down at stomach, listens to stomach] Yes. Yes I do.


8 thoughts on “Arts and Crafts and Lawnmowers

  1. Ah, the trusty lawn mower. I have taken my life in my hands and used ours recently after last year’s escapades (see my Good Vibrations post) It’s still going. The wonkiness has been remedied with a shiny new nut and bolt. The hammer was only a threat!


  2. Who knows, maybe in 70 years, your lawnmower will appear on the Antiques Roadshow and the person who brought it along is shocked when the valuation is given to them. I’d sign & date it somewhere if I were you. In the meantime, does the lawn not need mowing?


  3. Where can I find salted, caramel, pretzel bites? I’ve never seen them. I’m very glad that salt and bacon are making a comeback. Somebody should invent salted, caramel, pretzel, and bacon bites. But then, we’d be in Heaven, and our world would have to be destroyed.


    • Snyder’s makes them. The salted caramel pretzel bacon bite apocalypse is nigh. All hail Queen Patsy Porco for her delicious prophecy.



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