Et Tu, Koko?

"I'm getting real tired of this crap."

“I’m getting real tired of this crap.”

You wouldn’t happen to have an extra pair of pants, would you? Mine are currently…inadequate. See, Wife and I just visited the gorilla exhibit at the zoo, and, well – how do I put this? – I soiled myself. Allow me to explain. In anticipation of having our weekends booked until the end of time, Wife and I decided to treat ourselves to a two-day vacation that included a jaunt to the Franklin Park Zoo. While not quite the crown jewel of Boston, FPZ is easily the crown polyester liner: it’s cheap, crumbling, and smells like a sweaty, overweight king who sleeps on a straw mattress and likes to roll around in the mud. To be fair, FPZ is family friendly and a pleasant place to walk around, so for expecting parents like us, it was perfect. My only beef with FPZ is that its layout is designed in such a way that you are lulled into a false sense of security by the time you get to the final exhibit: the gorilla dome. Normally, I wouldn’t admit to being scared by gorillas, especially in the context of a bullet-proof glass enclosure, but when you have just spent the last two hours lazily strolling past one solitary, obese camel, a lion that looked like he only does the Nautilus machines, and a giraffe-less giraffe field, you get a little complacent. “None of Our Animals Could Possibly Kill You!” should be FPZ’s motto. That is, until you get to the gorilla dome. There I was, directing my extremely pregnant Wife to smile so I could snap a photo of her standing mere feet from a large silverback gorilla when…THWACK! The gorilla slammed his fifty-pound fist into the reinforced partition, prompting Wife, myself, and the rest of the onlookers to scream. I’m serious – we all screamed. Afterwards, I could have sworn I saw the gorilla laughing. Now, about those pants.

 

 

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19 thoughts on “Et Tu, Koko?

  1. Great post…similar experience recently at LA Zoo with my family. We had two Silverbacks stare us down. Freaked us all out. I’m a big guy too. They can can tear me, my wife, my son and every other Zoo Patron to shreds in an instant. I look forward to reading more of your posts. -Anthony Cortez,

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  2. Hey, I’m the one who populated the last twenty or so orange star notifications to your WordPress account. I can’t think of anything to say other than,”this shit is gold, pure gold. ” Thanks for writing.

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  3. Last time Hubby and I went to a zoo, we were so appalled we wanted to let all the animals out! We obviously weren’t the only ones concerned with the terrible conditions as shortly afterwards they were closed for ‘renovations’.

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