3 Men and a Body Pillow

“Pregnancy has some serious perks.”

We’re having a baby! Wife is six months along, but don’t worry–I didn’t just find out. Actually, I’ve known for some time, although I don’t remember what originally tipped me off. It might have been the dozens of baby doctor appointments, or Wife telling me “I’m pregnant,” or the sonograms, or the second round of sonograms, or Wife telling me “I can’t believe I’m really pregnant!” But that’s not important. What’s important is that, simply because a human is growing inside of Wife, I now know what a snoogle is. What’s a snoogle? I’M SO GLAD YOU ASKED. A snoogle is a large, “S” shaped body pillow designed to help pregnant ladies sleep and large man-boys take naps when the pregnant lady is getting a pedicure. As an added bonus the snoogle can also be worn, like a sash, to fancy parties. The only complaint I have is that “snoogle” isn’t the manliest of names. That’s why I have decided to develop my own prototype, called The Moosel. It’s filled with beef jerky, and is shaped like a flexing bicep. The great thing about The Moosel is that if you get hungry in the middle of the night, you can just unzip the washable cover and have yourself a little snack. Just make sure your cats aren’t down wind from you while you snack. They’ll rip The Moosel to shreds.