Love That Dirty Water

"If you squint it kind of looks like a bird feeder."

“If you squint it kind of looks like a bird feeder.”

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew. That is the sound of an amateur homeowner changing the whole house water filter he did not know he had until about a week ago. Fun fact: the sound was actually used in Jurassic Park II to fill out the raptor screams. They were already using a carefully mixed combination of an eagle shriek and a monkey laugh, but it simply wasn’t terrifying enough for test audiences. So the sound editors snuck into Jeff Goldblum’s Malibu beach house, switched out the clean whole house water filters with filthy ones, bugged the housing with tiny microphones, and waited for Jeff’s help to perform a scheduled quarterly filter change. Two and half months and thousands of hours of recorded audio later, they got their scream. And that is why Jurassic Park II was the box office success that it was. Neat, huh? But back to my nightmare – the one in which I am drinking scummy pond water out of an old boot. How did I not know about this You Gotta Change Da Filters thing? I mean, besides the fact that I have poor spatial intelligence, and that I picture a talking cartoon furnace when I try to imagine the inner-workings of a residential dwelling – besides all that. As the man of the house, I am embarrassed and horrified. As the blogger of the house, who is always looking for funny/stupid things to write about, I am delighted. Perhaps I should neglect other house duties for the sake of comedy. Do you think Wife would like it if I did that?

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6 thoughts on “Love That Dirty Water

  1. You can have just as much fun with the filter in your air conditioner, which becomes so clogged with dust and your girlfriends hair (it seems like she sheds all of it and grows more at least twice a day), that you will marvel at your lungs’ ability to still function within the Pigpen like smog that your A/C is pumping through your house.

    As for Goldblum related sound effects, does he deliver his terrified screeches with his trademark stutter?

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