A magical, wondrous month filled with snowflakes, piping hot cups of caooacoaoa (sp?), and, of course…
Yes, now that Wife and I are in the feared Twenlights (twilight of our twenties), we have decided to celebrate the Most Wonderful Time of the Year with Holiday HIPAA Consent Forms, Merry Medical Information Bureau Weigh-Ins, and – who could forget? – the Festive Fireside Conversations About the Locomotive of Death Hurtling Towards Us With the Power of a Million Hell-Horses.
No wonder our parents never told us about Life Insurance when we were kids – they were hoarding all the fun for themselves!!!
After all, nothing gets you into the Christmas Spirit faster than being told your height to weight ratio puts you in the “Standard Plus” category of policy-holders. Well, nothing except also being told that if you gain any more weight you will be taxed in the form of a higher monthly premium.
Oh, and um, hey, kids? Did you know that if you have smoked *a* cigar within the last six months, you might as well be a smoking cowboy on a billboard in Times Square in the eyes of Big Life Insurance, and that this DOUBLES your rate? Wow!
I just can’t wait for that special morning when I get to tear open that invoice, write a check for the amount due, and slip it in the mail. And the best part? I get to do this every month for the rest of my life!
Move over Santa. Christmas now comes twelve times a year in this household.