There are certain things about yourself that you don’t find out until you are a grown adult.
For instance, there are no High School Yearbook Superlative Categories for “Best Tax Return” or “Most Likely To Drink Diet Coke At 9:30 AM On A Monday.”
So imagine my surprise when I discovered how much I suck at gardening. Let’s take it from the top, shall we?
The ranch-style house Wife and I bought came with a nice little back and side yard. Don’t worry. I did not touch them. I did, however, make a complete mess of the raised-bed tomato garden that runs parallel to our driveway. It is supported by crumbling railroad-ties, and, upon first glance, appears to be a great place to bury a dead body.
Here is how I think you are supposed to garden.
Step 1: Grab a shovel.
Step 2: Poke things with shovel.
Step 3: Pile rotting lawn clippings onto garden bed. You know, for fertilizer.
Step 4: Catch a whiff of the lawn clippings. Resist urge to spew.
Step 5: Cover the lawn clippings with dirt you got from neighbor’s lawn.
Step 6: Empty a packet of sunflower seeds, from Market Basket, onto dirt.
Step 7: Continue to poke things with your shovel until you have been outside long enough to justify skirting your inside chores.