A House for My Business Cards

Future coaster.

Here’s my card. But don’t ask me what you’re supposed to do with it. Perhaps you could use it as a coaster, or round the edges with an exacto knife and turn it into a small frisbee. Better yet, you could hand the business card back to me and we can pretend that this little exchange of ink and compacted tree fibers never happened. For reals, now, does anyone actually use business cards? I have a pile of perfect strangers’ business cards on my desk, and an even larger pile of my own business cards in my desk, and I have never – not even hoo-wonce – used them towards any purpose other than tricking myself into thinking I am of a least a corpuscle of importance in The Business World. You know, I bet it would be more cost effective, not to mention environmentally friendly, if we all agreed to exchange five dollar bills at meetings, conferences and post-armed-robbery-safe-houses. And, just to be clear, I am in no way condoning the defacement of United States Currency, but if Honest Abe should happen to be wearing a top hat and monocle with a dialogue bubble coming out of his mouth with the caption, “Four score and seven jobs ago, I gave Nailsbails my full endorsement as a Handsome Titan of Industry,” you should probably take down the contact information on the reverse side. After all, you never know when you’re going to need seven hundred jokes about cats…fast.

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