It’s a mystery. No, I’m not talking about how toilet water stays put in the bowl, I’m talking about the presence of hundreds of thousands of tiny instruments of seemingly alien origin in my home and car. I have no idea how they got here, or what their creator’s intent was. All I know is that we are dealing with a mystifying invasion of small metallic clips with duel bulbous prongs and a single serrated shaft. Perhaps they operate some sort of Mayan Death Clock when fully assembled? Or are they micro listening devices planted by the government of some small island nation who took offense to one of my blogs and is plotting their revenge by slowly learning my greatest fears and then exploiting them? Now, I’m no Betting Octopus, but if you put two sticks, one red and one black, respectively representing the aforementioned possible explanations for this phenomenon, I would probably grab the black one with my tentacles. Or would I grab the red one? Aren’t octopi colorblind? I’m getting off topic here. Seriously, if anyone has any Hot Leads as to what these strange objects are, and what they are doing in my personal space, please enlighten me in the comments below. I don’t want to be one of those tin foil hat wearing conspiracy kooks, but I’m starting to feel paranoid. Also, the saran-wrap hat I’m wearing (to prevent brain hacking) is really uncomfortable.