I’m swamped. Allow me to clarify: I have a massive amount of work to do. I am not in or near a swamp of any kind, as some of my…special…readers may have assumed. This brings me to my next question: Are Swamp People ever swamped? I mean, how much work can one have living in a wetland with a large amount of woody vegetation (please note: a swamp is NOT the same thing as a marsh, which features little to no woody vegetation, by contrast)? Take Yoda for example. His schedule wasn’t exactly chock-full of meetings and deadlines. He pretty much just sat around in a mud hut, talking backwards, in the middle of a swamp. “Do lunch tomorrow, I cannot. Live in a swamp, I do.” By comparison, I bet Swamp Thing was actually a pretty busy guy. He always had his arms full, usually with sleeping women. I say sleeping because they were always wearing white nightgowns. Either that, or they were unconscious, which is super creepy. To be fair, Swamp Thing was a super creepy guy, so I guess it makes sense. Then you had the Creature from the Black Lagoon. What was his problem? Maybe he had seasonal affective disorder or something. I wonder if he/it would have benefited from purchasing one of those sun lamps. Although, he probably didn’t have a decent health insurance plan, so there goes that theory! And besides, we’re talking swamps here, not lagoons (and definitely not marshes). What was I saying? I can’t remember.